Thank you for your interest in learning more about sessions for couples. Somatic and Intimacy Education provides increased access to healthy sexual pleasure and sexual healing.
Couples Work is Individual Work
The primary service offered by Somatic and Intimacy Educators is guiding individuals with somatic awareness exercises to become more embodied and therefore increase their access to sexual pleasure and healing. The somatic exercises commonly used in somatic sex education practice are designed to support clients to experience more sexual autonomy. Individuals are guided to become more attuned to their body, learn about the touch they really want and then get practice with asking for the precise touch they most desire in the moment. These basic principles of practice apply as well to couples.
When we work with couples in Somatic and Intimacy Education sessions, we are really working with two separate individuals. And therefore, the work with couples is at the most basic level the same as working with individuals. Clients who are interested in sessions for couples can then refer to the information provided on this website about ‘sessions for individuals’ and the information there is directly applicable as well to my work with couples.
Normative world view supports the notion that if a couple wants to improve their sex life or is experiencing problems with their sex life, that both individuals need to be committed and willing to work on this together. As Somatic and Intimacy Educators, we generally do not hold this same view. Because our modality is about sexual autonomy, an individual in a relationship with another person can attend sessions alone or with their partner to experience the benefits of the modality. It is not essential that couples attend sessions together to see improvements to their sex life as a couple.
I am a living example of this view. I had a sexless marriage for sixteen years. I alone attended four individual sessions with a somatic sex educator. My sex life with my husband was revived after my first session and got even better following each of the four sessions. If one person in a relationship changes the dance of intimacy with their partner, the whole dance changes and is transformed into a brand-new dance. I attended many more sessions after these first four mentioned here, but all the sessions I attended were by myself. My husband was happy that he was not required to attend sessions with me. I simply did the learning, which changed me, and brought the changed me back to my marriage.
My husband is not one for attending any type of therapy. But I am. There was no need for him to be engaged in a process that he does not enjoy. He followed his pleasure by not attending with me. I followed my pleasure by attending by myself. And the result was that we both followed our own pleasure; and then we found more pleasure with each other by doing so. We honoured each of our needs and desires. That is a basic teaching of Somatic and Intimacy Education: follow your own pleasure and honor the pleasure needs of your partner. Do so with full consent and with a full heart. And the result is increased sexual happiness for everyone who wants it.
Two Individuals Working Together
This is good news for clients who are impacted by the normative view that both members of the coupledom are required to attend sessions to improve their sex life. If one person is not interested in doing so, the result is friction and more strain on their sex life when this coupledom expectation is present. There is no need to worry about this scenario according to our view. As one person involved in a coupledom, just attend alone and things will change in the relationship if your partner is not interested in attending sessions for couples.
In the situation where both partners in a relationship are interested in attending sessions together, that is also just fine. There are several somatic awareness exercises commonly used by practitioners that are useful in sessions for couples. And partners get the opportunity to learn and explore new discoveries together. It can be a time of high adventure in a couple’s sexual journey together.
When two persons participate in sessions together, the sessions are more complicated. More considerations are required, such as:
- More session time is required so each person gets adequate attention paid to their needs
- More time is required to meet both the individuals and couple intentions and goals for the session
- More time and mindfulness is needed to pay attention and check in on the status of each partner during the session
- More decision-making time is needed for choosing approaches and somatic exercises for the session
- More clarity and attention to detail is needed about who is touching who for each somatic exercise in the session
MY PROFESSIONAL CODE OF CONDUCT AND STANDARDS FOR ETHICAL PRACTICE:
I adhere to the standard practice guidelines for my modality with couples sessions as well. Touch sessions, when chosen, can create a simulated sex and intimacy laboratory where my clients sexual energy is welcomed and invited to come out and play. I focus on experiential learning, healing and pleasure experiences for my clients, and not for me. I stay fully dressed at all times. Clients can choose their state of dress or undress. All erotic touch is one way only from me to my clients. Clients do not touch me erotically. I permit clients to touch me for learning, grounding and energy exchange purposes only, but not for sexual purposes. This establishes clear, predictable and safe professional boundaries for clients to relax and lean into my offerings. Clients can experiment, learn and practice new sex and intimacy skills within the safe parameters and cocoon of this professional practice.
Benefits of Sessions for Couples
Somatic and Intimacy Education sessions for couples offer the benefits of a safe and structured environment and container to learn more about:
- How to be in loving presence with each other
- How to be in full service to each partner
- Taking turns to give and receive pleasurable touch or the type of touch that is desired
- How to ensure equitable exchange of attention to each partner
- How to give touch with a full heart
- Negotiating requests and consent for sexual activities prior to sexual encounters beginning
- Getting more practice with getting in the habit of discerning and providing or receiving consent for sexual activities
- Getting more practice and locating more confidence with stating one’s ‘yes, no and maybe’ responses to requests from the other partner
- How to accommodate partners with greater or lesser libidos
- How to communicate desires more openly with partners
- How persons can accommodate their partners with varying desires such as for certain sex acts, role playing and fantasy explorations
- How to become more comfortable and feel at ease in the presence of erotic energy
- How to support a partner who experienced sexual trauma in their past and gets triggered during sexual activities
- How to support a partner with sexual dysfunction or other sexual difficulties
- How to communicate about sexual agreements between partners regarding monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory
- How to communicate with a partner about gender or sexual orientation inquires or explorations
- How persons can accommodate the sex and intimacy needs of each other when one or both partners have disabilities
Intake Process
Each individual person is asked to complete the intake form independent of their partner prior to booking a couple’s session. Upon review of intake forms, I may invite the two individuals to start off their participation in somatic sex education practice with booking individual sessions first prior to booking a couple’s session. I will discuss this and all your options with you via email correspondence once reviewing both intake forms.
Session Rates and Durations and Booking Information
My Session Rates
My rate is $150 an hour payable by cash, cheque, bank transfer or e-transfer.
For couples’ sessions, more time is generally needed. Longer sessions allow for adequate time to meet the needs of both the individuals and the couple.
I require both persons to submit a completed intake form to me prior to booking a couples session.
I also offer a couples massage that I do in partnership with another colleague. Once we have met for a first session, then we can talk more if you have an interest in couples massage.
My Booking Information
Submit a completed intake form. I require each person to submit an intake form. You can disclose as much, or as little information as you wish about yourself, in the intake form. All personal information submitted in the intake form and other correspondence with me is kept strictly confidential.
I will review your intake information and send you an email to verify that your intake is received and reviewed.
Either Julie or myself will then follow up to arrange your booking. Julie is my confidential booking manager. Julie only has adminstrative duty to arrange bookings. She has no access to your intake form or any other personal information.
Session Locations
Sessions for couples can be attended either on-line or in-person or a combination of both.
For in-person sessions, my studio is located in central Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Detailed directions are provided upon booking.
For on-line sessions, I serve English-speaking clients from anywhere in the world.
For Persons with Disabilities
For clients with disabilities that have specific accommodation needs, please discuss your accessibility needs with me via email contact. I will try my best to accommodate the accessibility needs of persons with disabilities.
Have More Questions? Want to Book a Couples Session?
I do not respond to questions via email. A wealth of information is provided here. And you can conduct an Internet search for ‘Somatic Sex Education’ for more information.
Remember if you are curious, but feeling hesitant to book a couples session with me just yet, you are welcome to explore further and start off by booking a Discovery Session with me. If you have more questions about me, or about my practice, beyond all the information provided here, then I suggest you book a one-hour talk-based Discovery Session. We sit together in person and chat and get to know each other, prior to you making a decision regarding further sessions with me. This one hour Discovery Session is $150.
Then, when you are ready to proceed, you can book a session to commence the work.
Typically, three-hour in-person talk and touch session for couples are recommended and the cost is $450.
If you wish to start off at a slower pace with talk-only sex and intimacy coaching sessions, then two hour sessions are recommended and the cost is $300.
To book a discovery, or other type of, session with me for couples, I first need to receive and review two completed intake forms. Each person is required to submit an intake form please. Information posted on the Intake Forms are treated as strictly confidential. Your personal privacy is honoured by me and my service.
Once I receive two completed intake forms, then I will be in touch to book your couples session.
Follow-up Aftercare
We will plan a follow-up and after care plan when you meet with me for sessions as a couple. I can add your names to my practice update mailing list that I send out each month with your consent.
Experience a Vitality Boost
It is my hope that my clients will experience a personal awakening or boost to their erotic life-force energy and a revitalized sex and intimacy connection with their partner after attending a session for couples. And I hope they both experience a pathway to greater vitality, pleasure, and happiness in their life generally. This was my experience as a client of somatic sex education practice. Learning how to be pleasure focused has brought me more vitality in all areas of my life, including in my relationship with my husband, and far beyond the sexual realm.
Booking Reminder:
Complete and submit to me the two Intake Forms. I need one for each of you.
Then I will be in touch to offer you a booking.