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SOMATIC SEX EDUCATOR

AND SEXOLOGICAL BODYWORKER

Pleasure is Healing

Sessions for Couples

Thank you for your interest in learning more about sessions for couples. Somatic sex education provides increased access to healthy sexual pleasure and sexual healing.

Couples Work is Individual Work

The primary service offered by somatic sex educators is guiding individuals with somatic awareness exercises to be more embodied and increase sexual pleasure and healing. The somatic exercises commonly used in somatic sex education practice are designed to support clients to experience more sexual autonomy. Individuals are guided to become more attuned to their body, learn about the touch they really want and then get practice with asking for the precise touch they most desire in the moment.

When we work with couples in somatic sex education sessions, we are really working with two separate individuals. And therefore, the work with couples is at the most basic level the same as working with individuals. Clients who are interested in sessions for couples can then refer to the information provided on this website about ‘sessions for individuals’ and the information there is directly applicable as well to my work with couples.

Normative world view supports the notion that if a couple wants to improve their sex life or is experiencing problems with their sex life, that both individuals need to be committed and willing to work on this together. As somatic sex educators, we generally do not hold this same view. Because our modality is about sexual autonomy, an individual in a relationship with another person can attend sessions alone or with their partner to experience the benefits of the modality. It is not essential that couples attend sessions together to see improvements to their sex life as a couple.

I am a living example of this view. I had a sexless marriage for sixteen years. I alone attended four individual sessions with a somatic sex educator. My sex life with my husband was revived after my first session and got even better following each of the four sessions. If one person in a relationship changes the dance of intimacy with their partner, the whole dance changes and is transformed into a brand-new dance.

My husband is not one for attending any type of therapy. But I am. There was no need for him to be engaged in a process that he does not enjoy. He followed his pleasure by not attending with me. I followed my pleasure by attending by myself. And the result was that we both followed our own pleasure; and then we found more pleasure with each other by doing so. We honoured each of our needs and desires. That is a basic teaching of somatic sex education: follow your own pleasure and honor the pleasure needs of your partner. Do so with full consent and with a full heart. And the result is increased sexual happiness.

Two Individuals Working Together

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This is good news for clients who are impacted by the normative view that both members of the coupledom are required to attend sessions to improve their sex life. If one person is not interested in doing so, the result is friction and more strain on their sex life when this coupledom expectation is present. There is no need to worry about this scenario according to our view. As one person involved in a coupledom, just attend alone and things will change in the relationship if your partner is not interested in attending sessions for couples.

In the situation where both partners in a relationship are interested in attending a somatic sex education session together, that is also just fine. There are several somatic awareness exercises commonly used by practitioners that are useful in sessions for couples. And partners get the opportunity to learn and explore new discoveries together. It can be a time of high adventure in a couple’s sexual journey together.

When two persons participate in sessions together, the sessions are more complicated. More considerations are required, such as:

  • More session time is required so each person gets adequate attention paid to their needs
  • More time is required to meet both the individuals and couple intentions and goals for the session
  • More time and mindfulness is needed to pay attention and check in on the status of each partner during the session
  • More decision-making time is needed for choosing approaches and somatic exercises for the session
  • More clarity and attention to detail is needed about who is touching who for each somatic exercise in the session

Benefits of Sessions for Couples

Somatic sex education sessions for couples offer the benefits of a safe and structured environment and container to learn more about:

  • How to be in loving presence with each other
  • How to be in full service to each partner
  • Taking turns to give and receive pleasurable touch
  • How to ensure equitable exchange of attention to each partner
  • How to give touch with a full heart
  • Negotiating requests and consent for sexual activities prior to sexual encounters beginning
  • Getting more practice with getting in the habit of discerning and providing or receiving consent for sexual activities
  • Getting more practice and locating more confidence with stating one’s ‘yes, no and maybe’ responses to requests from the other partner
  • How to accommodate partners with greater or lesser libidos
  • How to communicate desires more openly with partners
  • How persons can accommodate their partners with varying desires such as for certain sex acts, role playing and fantasy explorations
  • How to become more comfortable and feel at ease in the presence of erotic energy
  • How to support a partner who experienced sexual trauma in their past and gets triggered during sexual activities
  • How to support a partner with sexual dysfunction or other sexual difficulties
  • How to communicate about sexual agreements between partners regarding monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory
  • How to communicate with a partner about gender or sexual orientation inquires or explorations
  • How persons can accommodate the sex and intimacy needs of each other when one or both partners have disabilities

Intake Process

Each individual person is asked to complete the intake form independent of their partner prior to booking a couple’s session. Upon review of intake forms, I may invite the two individuals to start off their participation in somatic sex education practice with booking individual sessions first prior to booking a couple’s session. I will discuss this and all your options with you via email correspondence once reviewing both intake forms.

Session Rates and Durations

My rate is $100 an hour payable by cash, cheque, bank transfer or e-transfer.

I am open to discussing trade offers by other bodyworkers or bartering offers by persons experiencing affordability barriers for booking somatic sex education sessions.

For couples’ sessions, a three-hour session is needed, especially for the first couples’ session. Couple’s sessions are booked for three-hour sessions to allow for adequate time to meet the needs of both the individuals and the couple.

Please contact me via email to discuss next steps for a couple’s session once both intake forms have been submitted.

Session Modalities

Sessions for couples can be attended either on-line or in-person or a combination of both.

For in-person sessions, my studio is located in northeast Manitoba, Canada. Detailed directions are provided upon booking.

For on-line sessions, I serve English-speaking clients from anywhere in the world.

For Persons with Disabilities

For clients with disabilities that have specific accommodation needs, please discuss your accessibility needs with me via email contact. I will try my best to accommodate the accessibility needs of persons with disabilities.

To Book a Couples Session

To book a couple’s session with me, I first need to receive and review a completed intake form from each individual comprising the couple.

Booking and other correspondence with me is made using email. My email address is [email protected]. Audio or video online chat communication is a possibility if requested.

Follow-up Aftercare

A few days following a couples’ session, I send out a follow-up email, to both clients, to inquire about post-session reflections and reactions. Attending somatic sex education sessions can be an intense and emotional learning experience. It can often take time after sessions to discover and integrate new learnings at the somatic level. I wish to know how my clients are doing following the session.

Experience a Vitality Boost

It is my hope that my clients will experience a personal awakening or boost to their erotic life-force energy and a revitalized sex and intimacy connection with their partner after attending a session for couples. And I hope they both experience a pathway to greater vitality, pleasure, and happiness in their life generally. This was my experience as a client of somatic sex education practice. Learning how to be pleasure focused has brought me more vitality in all areas of my life, including in my relationship with my husband, and far beyond the sexual realm.

Complete and email me the two Intake Forms. I will review it and message back in response with ideas about my offerings.

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