I am a professional somatic sex educator trained by the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education. I am also a surrogate partner trained by the Surrogate Partner Collective. My somatic sex education practice comprises a series of sessions designed to support my client with sexual health and wellness in general and to overcome sex and intimacy difficulties in particular. Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) is a more intensive practice where I act in the role of a temporary romantic partner for a number of months to assist clients overcome sex and intimacy barriers and experience more success in future relationships. I offer this service in partnership with a therapist.
Somatic Sex Education Practice: Pleasure is Healing
I call my somatic sex education practice ‘Pleasure is Healing’ because the ethos behind this simple statement is foundational to my practice. Pleasure is the learning tool, and healing is the result.
Somatic sex education clients are invited to work cooperatively with me from the point of first contact via my standardized intake process. This is a way to welcome clients into my practice and to become familiar with each other from the start. I have an intake form that I ask clients to complete prior to attending a first session with me. For personal safety reasons, I ask for clients to send me a photo of their government issued ID prior to offering a booking. We are working together authentically and so it’s important that we know each others true identify from which to build a trust-based client/practitioner relationship. My service is private and confidential but it is not anonymous.
Clients can choose the service approach that suits them best; talked-focused or touch-focused sex and intimacy coaching or both. Clients can change their mind about approach they wish for me to use at the beginning of each session.
My touch, when bodywork is requested in sessions, is one way only with respect to most somatic exercises. My touch is offered to my clients only when requested and when I deem it is safe to offer. Clients do not touch me. There are a few specific exercises that allow for two-way touch for educational purposes, and this education-focused two-way touch is non-sexual in nature. In sessions, I remain fully clothed at all times.
Body-based practices involving erotic touch in somatic sex education sessions must be:
- Clearly client requested at the beginning of the session
- Clearly client-directed during the session
- Offered within the spirit of being in sole service to the client
- Offered for educational purposes only to increase embodiment skills and practice opportunities
- Assessed by myself that touch is wanted and requested by the client, that it serves a useful purpose to the client for learning purposes and will not be harmful to the client
- Offered to adult clients only. Adults have the capacity to consent to touch and therefore it is offered as an educational tool on an optional basis for clients over the age of majority
My focus remains solely on being in the role of practitioner and being in service to my clients. I do not have a sexual or romantic relationship with my clients. My service as a somatic sex educator is intended to be offered on a short-term basis only. It is not meant to meet the romantic or sex needs for my clients on a personal basis; it is rather an educational service for clients to apply the learning to their personal romantic and sex life.
My client’s educational needs to increase access to sexual pleasure and healing and to improve their romantic, intimate, and sexual relationships in their life is my top priority.
These practice guidelines create a service container that is consistent, predictable, and safe for clients to access. My agreements with clients are identified clearly and my guidelines of ethical practice are consistently observed.
Surrogate Partner Practice: Loving Wings
I called my surrogate partner services ‘Loving Wings’ because my purpose is to support clients to succeed in forming and sustaining future loving relationships, to fly on their own, by applying the skills they gained while working with me.
While my work as a somatic sex educator focuses on teaching love, intimacy, and pleasure through both talk-based and touch-based practices, my role as a surrogate partner in Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) takes on a different, more structured and longer-term approach to helping clients heal and grow in their intimate relationships. In SPT, I collaborate with a licensed therapist to support clients in overcoming challenges related to intimacy, emotional connection, and physical touch.
As a surrogate partner, I offer a deeply supportive and experiential approach to healing and growth in the realm of intimacy, relationships, and sexuality. My role is to serve as a partner to clients in a therapeutic setting, where we work together over a period of months to explore and develop skills in emotional connection, physical intimacy, communication, and trust. Throughout our sessions, I model healthy intimacy by engaging in exercises that range from verbal communication to touch, all designed to help clients understand their own desires, boundaries, and capacity for connection.
Our relationship is professional yet deeply personal, involving close interaction and mutual vulnerability as a way to create a safe space for learning and healing. I act as a mirror, reflecting back their feelings, needs, and experiences, and providing feedback and guidance. The relationship is structured with clear boundaries and transparency, and it’s supported by a licensed therapist who is part of the triadic team. Over time, clients practice new behaviors and experiences in a real-life context, allowing them to develop the confidence and insight needed to transfer these skills into their daily lives and future relationships.
My approach is about creating a space where clients can learn to trust, communicate, and experience intimacy at their own pace, without fear or shame. Together, we break through barriers that have held them back, helping them feel empowered and connected in intimate relationships going forward.
The intake process for Surrogate Partner Therapy is different from that of Somatic Sex Education. For SPT, clients can contact me directly or have their therapist reach out to begin the intake process. Typically, this involves clear communication between myself, the client, and their therapist to ensure a triadic model of care. If a client does not already have a therapist, I can assist in finding one who is willing to work with us in this therapeutic approach. This collaboration ensures that the client receives the most comprehensive care as they navigate the process of healing and growth in intimacy.
Confidentiality Agreement
The identity of my clients and the details regarding their somatic sex education or surrogate partner therapy sessions are kept private and strictly confidential.
There are exceptional circumstances when the confidentiality agreement can be set aside. If a client presents as a danger to themselves, or others, or if a child is deemed to be at risk of being harmed or in need of protection, then there are legal reporting obligations I must meet.
I also share information about sessions with other professional peer supports or supervisors for the purposes of consultation and learning. The identifying names of my somatic sex education clients is not disclosed. I share the learning with peers and supervisors and not the details so that client privacy and confidentiality is maintained. Regarding my work as a surrogate partner, I share information about client sessions with my supervisors and with the client’s therapist and therefore client identity is known. We sign sharing of information agreements at the onset of the therapy.
Follow-Up After Care
I follow-up with my somatic sex education clients by sending out a monthly email practice update that informs clients about my new trainings, service offerings or developments of interest to them. With my regular clients where I have formed longer-term connections, I may follow up with a personal email if I have reason to do so such as if I have a concern about them or if come across a resource or information that I think might be helpful to them. Receiving this monthly email practice update is optional and some clients prefer to not receive this monthly email.
With my surrogate partner therapy clients, my follow-up, or between session contact with clients and with their therapist, is discussed and determined in the course of the therapy plan.
My Clientele
My somatic sex education clients are generally adventurous, discerning, and respectful adults, of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, who yearn for greater sexual pleasure, healing, and intimacy in their romantic and erotic life.
I serve individuals or couples with in-person or on-line sessions. I serve groups for on-line or in-person training purposes.
In my surrogate partner practice, my clients are usually mature cis-gendered men. However I am open to serving persons with diverse genders and sexual orientations as I myself fall somewhat into that spectrum of diversity.
Specific Target Groups
I like to work with clients impacted by sexual shame, repression, and trauma. I enjoy being witness to the transformative healing power of somatic sex education in this regard. The modality quickly helped me to heal sexually and to experience more sexual pleasure in my life.
I enjoy working with those who wish to revive or improve romance, sex, and intimacy in long term relationships, those seeking to find new loving relationships and those inexperienced in romance, sex, and intimacy.
Working with those affected by pelvic pain is another area of interest for me. I experience pelvic pain and have found solutions for pain relief with somatic sex education. Due to my nursing and social service background, I enjoy working with those affected by sexual dysfunction or other sexual difficulties such as concerns about use of pornography.
I enjoy working with persons with disabilities because, from my nursing background, I was frequent witness to lack of access to sexuality for persons with disabilities. Somatic sex education and surrogate partner therapy offers good access to sexual pleasure and healing for persons with disabilities and the opportunity to learn and practice how to be successful in intimate relationships. One of my elective courses was about sex and disabilities.
I like working with clients involved in the sex industry such as sex workers, sex buyers, other affiliates, and those who experienced exploitation in the sex industry. This is a particular area of interest of mine given my thirty-year history of social service work in the anti-sexual exploitation movement.
And I like to work with seniors, since I am one; and since so many seniors are affected by sexual shame and repression due to society’s sexually oppressive norms of my era. It’s not too late for seniors to enjoy their sexuality. Somatic sex education and surrogate partner therapy offer relief from sexual shame and repression. It offers opportunities for skill building and experiencing sexual happiness and liberation to all who choose to give it a chance, including for seniors.
Accessibility for Clients
I try my best to accommodate the accessibility needs for anyone interested in becoming a client. I know access to healthy sexuality for persons with disabilities of all types, for example, has historically been an issue. Barriers to sexuality services continues to exist and go largely unaddressed by our health care and social services systems for many disadvantaged persons.
So, I invite potential clients to self-identity and communicate disability accommodation needs to me as much as possible. I aim to explore and consider how best to address the accommodation needs, for all my clients, in the context of this work. This includes the ability to afford the session and/or trainings costs associated with somatic sex education or surrogate partner therapy.
My Professional Associations
My Health Protocols
Clients are asked to be freshly showered and refrain from alcohol or other mind-altering substance use prior to sessions and to also be mindful of risk regarding infection transmission. These matters are discussed with each client in the intake process.
My Service Location
Given ready access to new technology and video-meeting platforms, I can see English-speaking clients from anywhere in the world for on-line sessions. For in-person sessions, I reside in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada where my studio is located. I am also open to making home visits or meeting at alternative locations that are discussed and agreed upon between my client and myself.
My Rates
My flat rate is $100 per hour for somatic sex education sessions and $150 per hour for surrogate partner sessions. My rates are going up in January 2025 so book now before the rates are increased.
All somatic sex education clients start off my service with a standard two-hour introductory session so that we have a chance to get to know each other.
In-person sessions require 2 hours minimum and therefore the cost is $200 per session.
There are some speciality sessions that are more intense and the rate for those sessions are higher. For example, for clients who want teachings and practice in BDSM and kink-related activities, the rate is higher.
Online sessions require 1.5 hours minimum and therefore the cost is $150 per session.
Inquire about rates for a series of sessions for longer-term work together.
Inquire about a monthly rate for longer-term engagement in an intimacy skill development program utilizing our client/practitioner relationship as the training ground.
Inquire about a sliding scale rate for those affected by low income.
Inquire about rates for training for groups.
Payable by cash, cheque, or e-transfer.
My Network of Colleagues
I have established a network of other sexuality specialists and professionals locally and beyond the borders of Manitoba. These are folks I network and consult with, learn from and utilize as a referral source to better serve my clients.
Joseph Fedorowich is a certified Sexological Bodyworker in Winnipeg. His practice differs in some ways from mine so contact him directly to inquire about his service. Email: [email protected], Text: 431-200-3065
“R” is a sexuality professional that offers client-centred sensual body massage exclusively for men by men in Winnipeg. His website is www.somaticawareness.ca
“D” is a sexuality professional in Winnipeg that offers services for all genders. The website is www.sexualityjourney.ca
